A plan for every day

Monday - Academy of Science
Tuesday - Art museum
Wednesday - a playdate
Thursday - Great America theme park
Friday - don't know yet, but probably some form of entertainment

Not to mention 6 weeks of sports - art - field trips - overnight camping - learning about Israel camp that we just finished.

Am I spoiling my kids?

I've already complained (about 100 times) how they don't get along, and how they can't be left alone for 10 minutes without starting a fight. And how they have 100 toys and games that they never use, and refuse to play with, unless somebody plays with them. We have a month of vacation left before school starts, and I really want to avoid the whining and fighting and yelling and screaming because my kids don't know how to entertain themselves, and that's why I have every day planned. But maybe it's because I've always had a plan for every day, they don't know how to entertain themselves? Which came first, the chicken or the egg?

I am a stay-home mom, and it's my job to make sure that my kids are well entertained and well educated. It's my job to play with them, to take them to activities, to visit museums and theme parks. But it's also my job to cook dinners and clean the house. And sometimes I also want to write a blog or read a book. It's no problem when the kids are in school or camp. But when they are at home, spending all my time with them since the day they were born comes to bite me in the rear. Or does it? Does it matter that I've spent so much time with them? Shouldn't it come to the kids naturally to want some freedom from adults' attention and desire to play between themselves sometimes?

I have a friend who has 4 kids, and I keep asking her how much time she spends time with them and still has time for housework and studying. She says that her kids don't need a lot of attention and play happily between themselves. She says that they even sometimes require privacy when she does have time to play with them.

My younger son recently had a playdate. I went to drop him off, and naturally, my older son wanted to stay. He was not invited initially, so I told him he could not. But the lady said: "it's ok, they all play together." She had 4 kids, including a baby! My 2 children would make 6. And she was absolutely calm about it, she was sure that the kids would play happily together without causing her any trouble. And I can't keep the house in one piece with my two! Is it my fault (because I gave them all my attention and they never learned to play by themselves) or is it their personality that is at fault, and they are just kids who need more attention than others?

I have to confess that I love spending time with my children. I love taking them to the museums and enjoying the whole experience with them, answering their questions, taking tours and learning new things along with them. I have fun going to theme parks with them and riding roller coasters (not the crazy ones!) I enjoy having their playdates in our house, watching them interact with their peers. I enjoy going to the beach with them, watching them play with water and sand. I enjoy driving them to activities, watching them learn and excel in new things, be it gymnastics, chess, or dance. And I enjoy reading to them right before they go to bed, although they are old enough to read by themselves. I just can't give up that pleasure. So, I have to confess that spending a week with my children away from household chores is like a vacation to me. It has always been that way. Did I harm my children's ability to entertain themselves by being so selfish? It seems to me that if I didn't give myself the pleasure of being with my children as much as I could, they might have been more inclined to play by themselves, but all of us would've been less happy.