Friday, June 11, 2010

When do I feel like G-d?

For their Siddur ceremony, our first-graders have to answer the question: "When do I feel like G-d?" The answers are usually typical: "When I help my mom with dinner", "When I treat people nicely", "When I recycle." I never considered it a particularly deep question, especially put to a first-grader.

I am not on very good terms with G-d lately. I have my reasons. It's because G-d let one of my best friends die in a car accident 6 years ago. Or because I have an awful anxiety disorder that make my mornings hell and depression that does not let me enjoy life fully. Or because of all of this I have to take dreadful pills that don't let me do what I want. But I realize that I have a lot to be thankful to G-d for.

I was driving today and I saw 2 ducks crossing the road, very slowly. I felt like G-d when I stopped and let them pass. They took their time, but I didn't move, feeling like I am protecting G-d's creatures from harm.

2 days from now, I will board a plane and fly, after 11 years of not flying because of fear. I still have fear, but I am taking a chance. I pray that G-d will protect that plane and His creatures on it.

When do you feel like G-d?

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