Reflections on the past school year

The school year is coming to an end. I can't believe that in a week I'll be a mother of a middle-schooler. Time flies.

The last year of elementary school was not a good one for my older son, academically. It started with him being utterly bored in school, and even threatening not to go to school at all if we didn't transfer him to another school. The year started with me fighting with the teachers and the school officials to move Alex to a higher grade - the fight that I miserably lost. Instead, I got promises of individual assignments especially for Alex. They rarely fulfilled this promise. Special math sessions taught by the school counselor to Alex and his (also "mathematically advanced") best friend were not nearly enough of a challenge for either of the boys. To make the school less boring, the two of them prepared PowerPoint presentations for their classmates on different topics in math and science. The two young 5th-grade teachers were not nearly up to the challenge of handling the needs of a gifted kid. They refused to move him to a higher grade, but had no solution to remedy the boredom. Even in Jewish studies - discipline that is not familiar to Alex, he was satisfied neither with the teacher nor with the material that was taught. In conclusion, academically, the year was a waste of time.

However, it was a different story socially. From the first day of school, my "weird" child who had no friends and entertained himself by following girls around for 5 years, suddenly became "normal". Girls became non-existent and hardly ever mentioned. Two boys who transferred from another Jewish school quickly became his best friends, and so did twin sons of our neighbors and friends. Alex finally got his playdates, mostly on weekends as his after-school afternoons are always filled with activities. Occasionally, he requested playdates with other boys, also. So, as frustrated as I was with his academic life, I couldn't be happier about his social development. I would say that academically it was the worst, but socially, it was the biggest year for him yet.

Looking ahead, I hear that academically, middle school at Hausner is far superior to elementary school. In math, they split students into 3 classes according to their abilities - something they've never done in elementary school since 1st grade. Science program also sounds promising. Hebrew remains challenging as Alex continues his studies in native Hebrew speakers' group. I also hope that in social studies they will finally leave native americans topic for good and move to world history. I will monitor the academics closely from the beginning of the year, and if it does not improve significantly compare to 5th grade, the probability of changing schools will be put on a table.

Keeping in mind unsatisfactory academic program in higher elementary grades, I am wondering about my younger son. Not to say that he is bored right now - he couldn't be happier. The reason is that my social butterfly of a little boy couldn't care less what they teach him. He is too busy discussing his former and future playdates and sleepovers with all of his 50 friends. It was all fine with me - on first parent-teacher conference of the year the teachers couldn't say enough about how good he was doing academically and how well-behaved he was. A conference later in the year, however, was a different story. Firstly, Mark was in trouble twice for misbehavior and even was sent to a principal's office along with a few of his friends. Second, his school work fell a victim to his social interactions, making teachers tell me that Mark is not working up to his abilities that they knew he had. Math was extremely easy for him, but writing suffered. Only after I had a serious conversation with Mark and threaten to take him out of gymnastics his work improved.

Looking ahead, again, I wonder how long I can continue to let Mark's social life take precedence over academics. From my experience with my older son, I know that higher elementary grades will not provide Mark with enough challenge to learn up to his potential. Unlike Alex, though, Mark will continue to be content as long as he has enough playdates, sleepovers, and friends to socialize with during school time. So, it's up to me to decide if I want to move him to a more challenging academic environment. Changing schools is always a hustle. Right now I am reluctant to think about it, especially keeping in mind that Mark will be extremely upset about separation from his friends. Surely, it's only for a short time, and he will find new friends easily in another school, but initially it will be an extremely difficult battle for me. Also, having two kids in different schools is logistically quite difficult, considering that each of them has after-school activities for which they will need to be picked up at different schools, possibly at different times. So, for now, I am inclined to leave Mark where he is unless we will be forced to change schools for Alex.

In gymnastics, it was a huge year for Mark. He moved to level 5, and also had his first year of competitions. He enjoyed it tremendously, and so did I. His enthusiasm and his progress were clearly visible. He worn his medals on his sleeve (literally) after each competition, and really took pride of his achievements. Right now, he is training for level 6, and we were just informed that he will need to spend half an hour more at the gym (that's 11 hours a week altogether), and also starting in fall his practice will be moved to late evening. That creates all kinds of problems for us, including no family dinner, no reading, and a later bed time. Right now, I don't know how this change will affect Mark - it may be more than he can physically handle. But we'll have to wait and see, considering that for him, quitting gymnastics is not an option.

Right now we are looking forward to summer. Alex can't wait to start his John Hopkins summer program. That's when he leaves home for 3 weeks to live in the dorm at Stanford. I am dreading the day already. Mark is ready to start his camps where he will be together with his friends from school. We are also planning to do some traveling right before school starts. I hope for a more challenging, more fulfilling next school year for both of my kids.

PDA and their expiration date

Recently I was waiting in line in a restaurant for a table. It was lunch time, I was alone and the restaurant was pretty crowded, so the couple next to me was practically touching my shoulder. I didn't mind that. What I did mind was the couple was passionately kissing, and a man had his hand on a lady's behind. You would think that it was a couple of teenagers. Wrong. The lady was at least 40, and the gentleman looked about 10 years older. They completely disregarded me standing right next to them, and I was feeling really disgusted.

Today I was sitting in another restaurant, alone again, eating my lunch, when a couple walked in and sat at the table next to mine. Again, the lady was in her 40s and the gentleman in his 50s. They didn't stop kissing until the waiter brought them their food, and when that happened they proceeded to eat from each other's plates. If they liked each other's food so much why wouldn't they exchange plates? You would think that would be more convenient, but that way people around wouldn't have any idea how much they enjoy each other's company, would they?

What is it with older people and their public displays of affection? Is it in fashion right now? Did I miss the news? Is everybody doing it? Do people enjoy seeing it? Am I so conservative that I frown upon what everybody accepts as a perfectly normal adult behavior nowadays?

I heard from friends who have been to the beaches in Europe how women usually sunbathe topless, and men always comment how they enjoy seeing a 25-year-old woman topless next to them but can't hide their disgust when they see a 50-year-old in the same outfit (or rather without one). It's the same with me and public displays of affection. I can understand when 20-year-olds do it. It's cute. It's sexy. It's charming. Oh, except when private parts groping starts - that's where I draw the line even for teenagers. Thinking a little, especially for teenagers. But once you are past 35, public displays of affection start to disgust me.

Older people, what is with your PDA? Your hormones are no longer jumping up and down so that you need your passionate kiss right then and there. I understand your desire to feel young, exciting and sexy. But there is a time for everything in life. There is a time for displays of passion in public - you passed that time. Now there is a time for a more respectful showing of affection. By publicly groping each other and exchanging bodily fluids you are disrespecting not only each other's age, but also people around you. Holding hands or having your arm around your lady's waste will suffice until you get to a more private place and will show people around you how much affection you share as a couple. And once you feel the need to touch each other's private parts, no matter how old you are, it's time to get a room.